oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
