I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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