we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
