and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
