I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
