Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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