So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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