I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
