At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
