What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
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