I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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