Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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