He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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