After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
