So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
