Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
