you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
