C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
