Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He did a backflip because drugs
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