so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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