O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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