I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
