Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
