Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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