i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
