Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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