I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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