She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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