i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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