Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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