Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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