no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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