we made out on top of his cat.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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