Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
