i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
