why didn't you poke me back
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Blow job season was short but glorious.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Randomize
