It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
