so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
