Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
