Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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