After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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