it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
