thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
