The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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