That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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