just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
