I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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