We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
