I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
