I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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