I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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